Firstly, I just want to define happiness first and this is where a lot of people kind of get a little bit confused.
So, rather than happiness being a short term shift in your level of cheerfulness or a quick little pick-me-up, for the purpose of today’s blog, I’m defining happiness as a long term and sustained feeling of satisfaction in life.
So, you will have up days, you will have down days but if your overall feeling of contentment and satisfaction is high, then you’re happy.
I’m just going to talk you through the steps of what you need to do to choose to be happy in your life.
Watch the video or continue reading below…
Step 1: Know your values and what is important to you
You choose to be happy by knowing your values.
Values is a word that simply means knowing what you stand for in life.
So, what’s important to you?
What do you feel is really important in life overall?
For some people it might be their family is super important to them. Their friends are super important to them.
There might be a specific political issue that is really, really important to you. For me, helping women with anxiety is really, really super important for me.
It might be a hobby that you have. It might be something that you stand for, something that you’re an activist for.
Find what it is that’s really important to you and it’s more than just one thing. You’re a multi-faceted, multi-dimensional person made up of many, many different parts and there’s going to be many things that mean a lot to you in your life.
Something that’s just come to me right now is work. A lot of people find a lot of satisfaction from their work or parts of their work.
Work can also be a cause of a lot of stress and a lot of pain but oftentimes, there’d be parts of your job that you enjoy.
So, do you enjoy the numbers side of things? Do you enjoy talking to people on the phone or do you enjoy chatting to people in the kitchen at work? Those things that you enjoy really like and derive a little satisfaction from, if you look at what those things are and you can sort of tell when you write them down where they’re all leading to, then that’s a good way pointing towards where your values are.
When you write those things down, you will be able to see what those things are and you will be able to boil them down to a value. So, you have a number of values – get them all down on paper, as this is a vital step in your decision to choose to be happy.
Step 2: Set goals in alignment with your values
Look at what your values are and you think about ways that you would like to choose to be happy by bringing more of those values into your life.
If you like volunteering or being active in your community, drawing on the socializing aspect again, is important to you, then you might want to volunteer for something like meals on wheels or volunteer at a homeless shelter, working with people that way.
If you are really interested in numbers and you want to do more with numbers, then you might want to enroll in a course that will help you do more with your number skills, you might want to do bookkeeping.
Family and friends, doing more for them…and the really more important goal to have is also doing more for yourself, giving back to yourself, having more self-care.
So, setting goals in alignment with what those values are is really, really super-duper important to choose to be happy.
Choose to be happy by creating really SMART goals
Your goals need to be specific, they need to be measurable, they need to be attainable – that’s really important.
You need to know how you’re going to attain the goal.
They need to be realistic and they need to be time-focused, so you need to have an end date as well for when you’re going to achieve the goal by, so that’s a really good way of measuring whether your goal was successful or not.
Anyway, write down on a piece of paper specifically what the goal is, how you’re going to measure when you’ve achieved the goal, how you’re going to attain the goal, set them out into steps.
Make sure that it’s realistic. So, you know, a little bit of a stretch is okay and a little bit of a stretch is good but know within yourself, you know, making a million dollars in six months, for most people – not very realistic.
But making a million dollars in 10 years might be a little bit more realistic. I’m not suggesting you set a 10-year goal, I think 6 to 12 months is a much better time period to set a goal in but chunk it down.
So, consider a million dollars in six months, a million dollars in 10 years, what would you need to do to achieve a million dollars in six months? How would you know that you’ve attained that? What would be your amount?
And time frame, when do you want to achieve that by, and set it to 6 to 12 months again. So set those goals.
Step 3: Take sustained, long-term action on your goals
The third step to choose to be happy is to take action on those goals.
This step is really, really important.
When I say action, I don’t mean a short term burst of activity, that you’re 100% living in alignment with these new goals and this new vision.
I mean, what other little tweaks that you can make in your everyday life, one at a time to know that you are aligned and you’re taking the action on these goals?
Big difference there between getting all fired up and being like, “Yeah! I’m going to achieve these goals and taking super focused action.” And then it can lead to being burnt out, it can lead to you getting bored with your goal and if you don’t attain your goal within the time period that you’ve set yourself, it can lead to you feeling really frustrated and feeling like a failure.
That’s not going to make you happy!
The type of sustained contentment that I am talking about is in knowing at the end of every day that you have done at least one thing that you can say, “Yes, that is in alignment with my values and that’s going towards helping me achieve my goals.”
That’s how you know that you’re living a life of purpose.
It’s not in making a massive shift and a massive overhaul although sometimes, that’s required, but that’s not what I’m talking about here.
It’s about the small little baby steps that you can achieve to making yourself feel more mindful and on track and focused.
And little by little, as these actions gather pace and as everything starts to move forwards in the direction of your goal, you will notice a shift, you will notice a shift in your overall mood.
You will notice a shift in your overall feeling of well-being and satisfaction in life.
When you’ve got a goal that you’re working towards and that goal is super, super important to you and will give you a real sense of satisfaction and purpose in the long term, that is what will give you that overall feeling of contentment in your life and therefore, happiness in your life.
A lot of women prone to anxiety swear by my free monthly distance healing that I always email out on the first day of every month. People tell me it’s a great way to look at the month ahead, and see what might be coming up that could support or block you in how you choose to be happy in achieving your goals.
Love + light