by Butterfly A
Q: Hi Eva,
I would first like to thank you for your video on anxiety and mind paralysis, it’s the first piece of information I found on that state of my mind, outside of my mind.
In many ways I fit the bill, I have worked hard my entire life, I suppose I am a perfectionist, although I never saw it that way.
Your advice on acknowledging it and letting it go is amazing, however I still feel like I lack strength to pick myself up and face the challenges.
At the moment I need to prepare a symposium presentation which is also a job interview.
I know what I need to do to prepare, and I think I need to know how.
But when it comes to execution, it plays out like this- couple of days of crying, guilt because I am increasingly aware that I am running out of time, numbing myself down with tv, some more crying, anxiety, depression, tv….think you got the idea.
And this is not a new thing it’s been around for some time, like I need to set myself up for failure and humiliation to finally do the thing I need to do.
Just that right now I can’t afford it, because that would mean that I’ll end up unemployed for a very long time…I would appreciate any advice, thanks so much!
Eva’s response: Hey Butterfly A!
Boy oh boy, do I know how you feel! It’s that tug-of-war between what you know you should be doing, and what you’re actually doing.
My advice in the video you mention above is good and all, but if that hasn’t worked for you then it’s time to roll out the big guns.
And I’m going to say something that I think will rock the boat a little…
Because I don’t think you lack strength at all.
You want a challenge. And preparing for a symposium simply isn’t cutting it for you right now.
Because, let’s be honest, you are obviously highly intelligent and you could put together (and probably deliver) this symposium in your sleep.
And in all likelihood, the “job interview” portion in itself is probably just to see that you can (a) prepare, and (b) deliver a presentation.
You’ve got that nailed. So you’re bored by it all.
So what you’re doing is… wait for it… creating drama.
Creating a challenge. Making it interesting for yourself.
So what you need to do is: Take charge, by consciously creating your own drama.
The way I would suggest you do this is: Get your symposium prepared in one night.
Pull an all-nighter, on a tight deadline, and pump it out.
Now I don’t suggest you do this the night before you’re due to present at the symposium. My advice would be that you create your own deadline.
And the way you enforce your own deadline is: You say to yourself: “I will have this done before dinner with friends or bookclub day” for example.
If you don’t already have something in your calendar, arrange to have dinner or drinks with a friend.
Make it a solid date, there’s no “if I have my symposium presentation done, maybe we will meet” – make sure you are held accountable. If you don’t make the deadline, your friend will be pissed at you.
Or, book a reward for yourself. A massage, pedicure, or hair appointment. Again, schedule an appointment for this. Make that deadline solid.
So that’s my recommendation for this situation.
Energetically-speaking, tasks have a magical way of fitting into the precise amount of time that you create for them.
So if you set yourself a really short amount of time to complete the task, with a deadline that you must uphold (eg. an appointment, where there will be consequences if you cancel), then you WILL get that task completed within that set amount of time.
Beyond that, I think you need to examine your life, and create some healthy challenges for yourself.
If you’re bored by the job interview, you will probably be bored in the job.
So you need to add interest in other areas of your life.
If you have hobbies, can you get competitive with them?
Can you start a new hobby, something challenging?
It needs to be something that is outside your comfort zone, that is new to you.
Love + light
PS – Let me know how you go, by adding a comment to this post (link below). And if anyone else reads this and has some great advice to share or just wants to let Butterfly A that you know how she feels, please also add a comment 🙂