should i text him

Subject Line: I met him on Saturday, it’s now Wednesday. Should I text him?

Hi Eva,

I suffer from severe social anxiety so it was like a dream come true when I met a guy (let’s call him “Mark”) on Saturday night.

Mark immediately put me at ease, and made me laugh – which is very hard to do.

We just clicked. I felt it, and so did he.

I gave him my number and he said he would text me and we would make a date for this upcoming weekend.

It’s Wednesday now, and he hasn’t texted me yet.

I’m beginning to wonder if something’s gone wrong.

Maybe he got my number wrong in his phone?

I got his number from Facebook and I’m thinking about texting him just to say “Hi Mark, it was lovely to meet you on Saturday, I hope to see you around.”

Does this seem like a good idea to you?

I’d really like to know what you think,

Bridgette.

Eva’s response:

Hi Bridgette,

I’m not a dating coach, I’m not a relationships coach… I’m an energy healer.

But this question does relate to social anxiety so I will put my answer on my blog so it helps other people.

I’ve been happily out of the dating game for 13 years, so I’m not going to pretend that I understand what it’s like to navigate the dating waters in 2016.

I’m just going to tell you how I would do it if I was in your situation.

I can’t guarantee that my answer is right. You need to decide if this is the best thing for you.

You met. You clicked. It was a rare and beautiful thing.

He happily took your number and suggested that you meet again.

These sound like positive signals to me.

Back in the olden days when I was a lass, there was a 3-day rule.

So if you met on Saturday, you shouldn’t expect a call until Tuesday at the earliest.

Wednesday is still acceptable.

By Thursday, you shouldn’t accept a date for the upcoming weekend (he missed the boat and you already have plans).

Those were the rules in 2003.

These days, with social media and the myriad of other ways for people to get in touch, I expect that this timeframe is shortened a little.

You mention that you got his phone number from Facebook, does that mean you’re “Facebook friends”?

If so, you don’t need to worry about him having your number wrong.

He has a way to connect with you.

And you have a way to connect with him.

If you haven’t heard from him by Wednesday night, I see no harm in sending him a brief message, for example:

“Hey Mark, it’s Bridgette (smiley face emoticon). I really enjoyed chatting with you on Saturday night and hope we can catch up again sometime soon.”

Leave it at that.

Obviously, do your background research first – send him a friend request, if you haven’t already done so.

Check his relationship status. If he’s listed as “in a relationship” or “it’s complicated” – back the frack off.

You don’t need that kind of drama in your life.

If there’s a girl who regularly likes his photos, posts on his wall or tags him in stuff – exercise caution and find out who she is ASAP (she might be his sister or his cousin… or his girlfriend.)

So there’s my answer.

Give him some time to text you – 3 days is plenty – then contact him ONCE.

Then the ball is firmly in his court.

Love + light

Eva xo

PS – Like this post? You’ll love Am I an introvert?

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