Social anxiety self help: What you need to consider before starting any self-help program

Social anxiety self help is a great option if you want to be in charge of your own healing journey.

Self-help involves choosing a healing modality and either a ready-made plan (or making one yourself) and following it through until you get results.

In this article I talk about some positive and negative points that you need to consider.

I also outline what I recommend if you are an intelligent, soul-searching woman wanting to create a social anxiety self-help plan.

Before you jump in, you need to understand that self-help (all kinds, not just for social anxiety) has it’s good and bad points.

Social anxiety self help: What you need to consider before starting any self-help program

Good points include:

  • Working at your own pace


We are all busy.

And it feels like life just gets busier.

Everyone leads exceptionally busy lives, and its good to be able to have a program that you can “pause” when you get interrupted, and go back to it when you have time again.

However, be mindful that you will need to absolutely MAKE time for social anxiety self help (and making time is more difficult when you are only letting yourself down by not showing up).

  • Picking and choosing exercises that work for you

No two people are ever alike, and social anxiety manifests in so many different ways – not every self-help treatment option will apply to you.

For example, you might be fine when speaking in a meeting at a round-table, but feel triggered when you need to sit at the head of the table to present.

Or you might feel fine in face-to-face job interviews, but freeze up when you need to speak on the phone.

This is very common. Everyone has their own unique triggers and pain-points.

However, you may risk skipping over an exercise that could be very valuable to your recovery, because you feel that you don’t need it when in fact you do.

  • Maintaining your privacy while you gain confidence

As a socially anxious woman, your privacy is paramount.

Your biggest fear is that you risk being judged.

You fear that people might find out your “dirty little secret” that you experience social anxiety and they may lose respect or think less of you.

However, nothing could be further from the truth. We are all human, and honestly everyone experiences social anxiety in one way or another throughout our lives. We are not robots. And that’s why we are so loveable.

Social anxiety self help: What you need to consider before starting any self-help program

Bad points include:

  • There is nobody leading the way, except your Self

It’s a bit of a case of the blind leading the blind. Sometimes you can be too close to your own story and that’s when you feel blocked and powerless.

You may have an idea of what your problems are, but not quite how to fix them (if you knew how to fix them, social anxiety wouldn’t be such a problem, would it?)

  • Social anxiety is fed by isolation – and self-help can increase that feeling of isolation

If you treat your social anxiety as your dirty little secret, and use self-help treatment in secret, then you are inadvertently feeding the shame.

As I mentioned above, there is no shame in social anxiety. Every human experiences it. And you will be surprised by the outpour of respect and compassion you will get when you admit that you feel vulnerable.

  • You can lose motivation very easily

When nobody else is cheering you on in your recovery (such as a mentor or a recovery group) – that feeling of isolation can become overpowering.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you are the only person in the world who feels the way you do (you’re not), and that there’s no hope for you (there is).

This leads to loss of motivation, feeling like nothing works, and worrying that you will NEVER overcome social anxiety.

The good news is: You can always start over again. Any time.

And your chances of success increase each and every time you try social anxiety self help again.

The key is to have an attitude of acceptance that social anxiety is a long-term issue, so there is no point in just trying to fix it when you are in crisis, or a public event is looming.

You also need a realistic expectation that it will take time, there will be ups and downs, and there will be days that you feel like an utter failure.

But that is no reason not to wake the next day ready to try again.

You also need to open yourself to the possibility that miracles can, and often do, happen.

If you are motivated enough, and your soul is ready to take the information on board, there is no reason why you should not recover quickly.

Here is what I recommend for your social anxiety self help plan:

1.       Download my free energy self-healing exercise for social anxiety.

Use it every day (it takes 10 seconds in the morning).

This is the ideal start-point for self-help as it teaches you the very foundation tip of energetic protection.

Get it here.

2.       Read my daily emails

Every day I channel a message from Spirit, which is attuned to the unique energetic vibration of the women in my Anxious Relief community.

This message then goes out as a daily email. The messages vary each day, and contain healing gems that will uplift and inspire you on your social anxiety healing journey.

You will automatically get my daily emails when you download my free energy self-healing exercise.

3.       Get my book

I wrote “Social Butterfly” as a 7-step energy healing for social anxiety self-help program.

It has received rave reviews on Amazon, from people who feel that their lives have been changed by following the steps.

Get more info on my book here.

4.       Book a time with me for an energy healing session

Ok – so while this isn’t self-guided self-help as such, it really will provide the gentle nudge-along that you need to clarify what your social anxiety energy blocks are, and map out a plan of what you need to do to heal them.

My energy healing sessions change lives – find out more here.

Social anxiety self help: What you need to consider before starting any self-help program

Overall, when you are approaching your social anxiety self-help, I want you to remember three things:

1.       You are whole

I totally understand that you are feeling desperate, panicked and powerless.

Social anxiety is an intolerable misery – no two ways about it!

However, I also know that you are an expert on yourself.

You feel your feelings, even though they may feel bad.

And I know that you will stop at nothing to feel better.

You have what it takes to make social anxiety self help work for you. You do.

2.       You are capable

You can do this.

Even if you feel like you have tried every option, and there is nothing more you can do.

There is ALWAYS a reserve of energy that you can call upon, when it comes to fighting for yourself.

3.       You are resourceful

You are intelligent, and inventive. There are always new opportunities and ways to create a better life for yourself.

Your strength and smarts will see you beating social anxiety – you know that a better life awaits you, and you will do what it takes to step into the future that you deserve.

You can do this. I believe in you.

Love + light

Eva xo

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